I here a lot of people use the words “unconditional love” and I’ve often wondered what it means. I mean, we all have our own belief systems and perceived views of what “love” is. As I searched for my answers of what unconditional love was I found no answers. Nothing concrete anyway. I did find many false truths and I would like to share them with you below.
I’ll love you as long as you only love me and no one else
I’ll love you as long as you buy me this or pay my bills
I’ll love you as long as you keep your body perfect, your skin flawless or if your breasts are a certain size.
I’ll love you as long as you never age, never argue and don’t dare to disagree with me.
I’ll love you as long as you take care of the household duties, and continue to clean, cook and to raise our children while I become a slave to a job that I loathe!
I’ll love you as long as you can boost me to that job title or catapult me to the status I desire.
I’ll love you as long as you look pretty and keep your mouth shut.
I’ll love you as long as you agree with this religion and this political stance.
I’ll love you as long as you grow up to only fall in love with someone of the opposite sex.
I’ll love you as long as my family loves and accepts you.
I’ll love you as long as you fit into my social circle.
I’ll love you as long as you adopt the same lifestyle I do in the way of diet, exercise and sleep patterns.
I’ll love you as long as you attended and graduated from the same level or better of higher learning institution that I did.
I’ll love you as long as you have the same social appetite that I do, say going out 3-4 nights per week.
I’ll love you as long as you never gain weight, lose too much weight and always stay in the mold I’ve created you to reside in.
I’ll love you as long as you continue to show up for me when I need you and how I need you to be.
Any or all of the above unforgiving examples of love can be categorized as romantic love, a love from a child towards a parent or vice versa. It’s funny yet quite sad too. I bet there is not one of you who will read this and say “I accept all of these as false hoods” or “I would never place any of these conditions onto a loved one”.
Really? If your husband stopped paying the bills, how would you respond? With love?
If your father won’t buy you the latest gadget do you hug him or do you sulk in your room?
If your girlfriend or wife becomes ill and looses her hair or her looks, do you embrace her and stick it out until the end?
If your girlfriend said she wanted a second boyfriend, would you love her anyway?
If your family or co workers loathed your partner, would you fight for your love? Would you defend her/him and ask the outside sources to keep their opinions to themselves?
If your son opened up and said he was gay, how would you respond?
I’ve been diving DEEP lately searching for answers when I don’t have the questions . The type of questions that lead to solitude and deep inter-reflection. I can honestly say there is one of the above on the first list that I would not accept. I think it all boils down to how things are presented to us or, if they are presented to us at all. The honesty, authenticity and truth not only sets us free, but allows the person who is carrying the burden we have brought fourth to be set free too.