I used to feel like I was doing something wrong.
As a Christian woman, I often struggled with the quiet truth that I practiced Buddhism almost as much as I did Christianity. That tension lived inside me for years... like two worlds I loved but didn't know how to reconcile.
Because the truth is... I believe in things like not taking the lives of others... including animals. I believe in karma. I believe in releasing attachment to people, places, and things. I believe in something greater than doctrine~something alive, breathing, and deeply personal. And for a long time, that made me feel like I didn't belong anywhere.
The Inner Conflict That Became My Awakening
There was a period in my life where I felt like I was constantly at war within myself. On one hand, I held tightly to my Christian roots~my love for God, my reverence for divine guidance, my connection to prayer. On the other hand, I found deep truth in Buddhist teachings... non-attachment, mindfulness, compassion, and the understanding that suffering often comes from clinging. And then there were the Akashic Records... a spiritual understanding that expanded my awareness even further. I questioned myself constantly.
"Am I betraying my faith?"
"Am I being misled?"
"Can I be both?"
The questions didn't stop... until something inside me softened.
Letting Go of Labels & Choosing Truth
One day, I realized something that changed everything: I was more attached to the label than to the truth. And in that moment, I let it go. Not God. Not my faith. Not my values. Just the need to define myself in a way that made others comfortable. I stopped trying to fit into a box and instead chose to walk a path that felt deeply aligned with my soul.
My Path of Celibacy, Nature & Creation
Part of that path has been choosing celibacy. Not out of fear. Not out of lack. But out of clarity. I know, in this lifetime, I am not meant to give birth to children. I am meant to give birth to ideas... to healing... to teachings... to books, programs, and a way of living that nourishes others. I am meant to make love to this earth. To walk barefoot in truth. To connect deeply with nature. To live freely and love unconditionally without attachment, without ownership.
At first, that realization made my heart ache. There was a sadness in letting go of what society says a woman "should" be. But that sadness transformed into peace. Because when I walk this path~fully, unapologetically~I am supported in ways that feel undeniably divine.
When the Universe Responds with "Yes"
Every time I lean into this calling... Doors open. Abundance flows. Opportunities appear. It feels like God~and my ancestors~are whispering: "Yes, dear child. This is the way." And I listen.
The Principles That Guide My Life
I no longer see Christianity and Buddhism as opposing forces. I see them as complementary truths. Here are some of the principles I live by and how they show up in my daily life:
The Four Noble Truths
Life includes suffering, but suffering has a cause: attachment. And if attachment is the cause, then awareness is the doorway to freedom.
The Eightfold Path in Modern Life
- Right Speech: Choosing silence over gossip
- Right Action: Living with integrity and kindness
- Right Livelihood: Creating work that does no harm
These aren't just ideas-they are daily practices.
The Five Precepts as a Lifestyle
- I choose not to harm living beings
- I take only what is freely given
- I honor my body and my energy
- I speak truthfully and with care
- I protect my clarity by avoiding substances that cloud my mind
Karma as Conscious Living
Every action matters. Every thought carries energy. So I choose love~even when it's difficult.
Impermanence & Letting Go
Nothing lasts forever. And instead of fearing that... I find peace in it. Because it allows me to release, to forgive, and to move forward without clinging.
Mindfulness as a Way of Being
Sometimes, it's as simple as pausing. Breathing. Choosing presence instead of reaction.
You Don't Have to Choose a Box
If you've ever felt like you don't fully fit into one belief system... You're not alone. And you're not wrong. You are allowed to:
- Question
- Explore
- Evolve
- Create your own relationship with the divine
Your path doesn't have to look like anyone else's.
Final Reflection
This journey hasn't been about rejecting faith. It's been about deepening it. Expanding it. Living it. And most importantly~feeling it. So wherever you are on your path... Trust it. Even when it doesn't make sense to others. Even when it feels unconventional. Because the most powerful thing you can do... Is walk in alignment with your truth.
External Resource: Learn more about Buddhist principles here.
